2006 Singapore AIDS Candlelight Memorial

Yesterday I went to atted the Singapore AIDS Candlelight Memorial and it was my first time to attend it as a gay man. I must say that it was really an eye-opening experience though it is a small affair not like what u can see during the National Day or World Cup event. Prior to attending this candlelight memorial, I went to meet L**** to return his camera and we had a brief discussion on the photo album. He volunteered his useful tips on how to take better pictures in different setting and then we went off to the Internet cafe to show him my landscape photos which I have put up in the photo slider in my travel blog http://zxaviertravel.blogspot.com/. Then I went to Orchard to meet Gilbert at Kinokuniya Bookstore in Taka. While waiting for him, I browsed through the Japanese book and tried to understand some of the passages.

Around 30 minutes, Gil sms-ed me to meet him at the Coffee Xpress cafe and I rushed over to loook for him. Then we ordered sandwich as I had not had any lunch on that day. We chatted about the career which I sms-ed him earlier on the internship with I-S Magazine. He advised me against this internship with that company as any company who intends to hire an intern, will not be able to give you actual working experience that u are looking for. Even though u will be given a chance to sharpen ur writing skill or gain experience with the magazine design, most of the time u will not be asked to do it but to do some chores like office boys! Then we explored on other careers and we realised that I had a very specific and narrow criteria when it comes to job. No wonder I was feeling so frustrated and vented whenever I tried to search for jobs that my interest tries to match that requirement. I brought up about on possibility to work in WWF and Gil cautioned me that this job is not what I expect it to be. Probably, this job requires me to liaise with the govt or private company to encourage them using energy-saving measures or to lobby for conservation of wildlife flora and fauna. But this company may not give me much opportunity to travel to the jungle to mingle with the wild animals. Gil has exactly hit my point so well that I began to laugh at myself. Wow..Gil has known me so well that nothing can escape from his sharp eyes.

Anyway, Gil reminded me to be more realistic of my expectation of the jobs in Singapore and even in oversea. It is not easy to combine hobby with the full-time job unless I start my own business to cater to society's needs. It is not like finding someone who pay you the fixed salary to eat chocolate and then u work for them. U may have to establish the chocolate shop and come up with creative ways to make chocolate cakes or biscuits to make customers purchase from you. He has made a good point!

So now, i think I may have to shift my focus a bit as it is not a right time to think of the extreme ways to plunge in to pursue interest. Perhaps, it could be more prudent to choose a job which is better than my current job and also closer to my interest in some ways. Anyway, I thank him for sharing his view points and also for volunteering to do career research with me when he has time.

Then we went off to browse through some books for a while before he went off to gym. I sauntered off to Hereen to look around some shops as I intended to buy a new pair of black slippers from New Urban Male (NUM). At there, as usual, quite a number of boys and gals thronged the shop and it was very well-received by customers. I saw Shenzi Chua who is a founder of this shop and said hi to him. As I was browsing through the t-shirts, I notice a cute and hunky salesboy near the counter. He has a strong facial look with his hair carefully styled and he has certainly a pleasant smile. He donned red jacket with "Japan" written on his back. His facial look has certainly reminded me of my time in the sauna with that cute HK guy. Hee...and I went to one side and he came behind me as if he was trying to render his assistance though there were even more customers needing his assistance. Anyway, I let him be and i walked around in this shop. After 20 minutes, I wanted to go off to Re shop and looked for that gorgeous guy. He was outside the counter and I purposely walked past him hoping to brush against him. But anyway he went into the counter, making my heart drop.. :( and then I went outside. Before walking outside, I turned around and noticed his eye glazing at me as if his eyeballs popped out of his sockets and flew behind my back whenever I walked. Hee...

Then I left the NUM and walked around in the Hereen. Feeling bored, I decided to go out of the Hereen and saw so many gay-looking guys around here. Wow...

Then I walked towards the Cineleisure and saw even more gays hanging out. I saw some gays whom I have met in the California gyms. Some of them stared at me and then some of them whispered to the others with their fingers pointing at me. Again, was there any something wrong with my face or what? Are they gossiping about me? Anyway, I ignored their catty looks and I walked to the Mac Shop to read my email for free hee... So, I read my email for a while and saw a gay couple. One is a Caucasian and the other one is Chinese slim guy. That ang moh guy also gave me a catty look (it is like a cat staring at you for a long time and its stare has never left you) and I wondered in my mind whether the other half would be jealous of his half's roving eyes. Anyway I let myself soaking in the pool of staring for my pleasure.

Then I left Cineleisure and walked all the way to SMU. Before reaching SMU, I sms-ed Queen Mother whether he was there already. He did not reply to me. So, I reached SMU around 6pm and saw my friend there. He is working in MediaCorps as a marketing assistant for 4 years and he just visited Singapore Art Museum with his friend. Then I looked for Queen Mother and he was rehearsing song-signing with his 2 partners. Not bad and they could sign well!

Then i saw Alfred Yeo who was there and later on Kelvin, Daniel and other deaf came to SMU to attend Candlelight Memorial.

Around 7pm, this memorial started and Daniel Tung interpreted for us. Religious leaders were there to chant prayers and I looked around for any cute guys. Yes, there, indeed, were quite number of cute boys attending this memorial. On my right end of the row, a bald guy, Vincent, kept on giving me his catty look whenever I signed with my 2 deaf friends. I later found out that Vincent was one of the ADLUS members and he knew a bit sign language. After the memorial, we wanted to go to Kopitiam to have dinner. Queen Mother, Kelvin, Daniel, Alfred, Vincent and others went to Kopitiam for dinner. Gil sms-ed me that he would join me later. He came from somewhere and we met again in the Kopitiam. When he came over, Vincent was sitting alone and I chatted with Gil. I wanted to introduce Vincent to Gil but I dunno his name. Vincent gave me his confused and blank look as if Gil was my boyfriend! Hee..

Then we went to buy food and I came back earlier. I chatted with my friends. All along, I noticed Vincent kept on giving me catty look and whispered to him about him. Gil said that if anyone stared at him, he would say Hi but I told him that i said hi to him and he kept on staring at me. Then after chatting for 1 hour, we wanted to leave now. So, I asked the other guy whom I cannot remember his name to go home with me. Then Vincent accosted me whether I would come on Monday to swim with them including him. Then, i told him oh, I had a Japanese class and I could not go with them. I could see a BIG DISAPPOINTMENT written over his face. Wow...then I pretended to chat with other to avoid his look. Then we walked outside and I told Kelvin about Vincent. Then I went home with the other guy.

Kelvin smsed me that Vincent asked him about me. He wanted to know how old I was and whether I had a boyfriend. I shrugged it off and walked to the next compartment. I saw a guy whom Gil mentioned to me that he was cute and he was sitting at that corner of the table. He was there chatting with his friend and I think he saw me. Then i went home finally.